Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
– from the novel, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, by Louis De Bernieres
How do lovers ever manage to forget that they are in love? Can such devotion slip one’s mind? In a manner of speaking, yes it can. There are circumstances under which love can be forgotten, lost sight of, or simply neglected. Here are 10 reasons people can forget that they are in love:
- Status Quo – When two people have loved one another long enough, it can easily be taken for granted. After the initial fireworks subside, the flame of love needs to be stoked occasionally.
- Anger – A person who is given over to their anger is prone to forget or ignore all other feelings, It can even lead us to convince ourselves that we are not in love.
- Lust – Call it a temporary loss of memory, or selective amnesia; however you describe it, a person focused on the physical allure of someone else will often forget their commitment to their partner.
- Amnesia – Of course, there are clinical cases in which a person can genuinely lose their memory, including knowledge of their loved ones. Another example of this …
- Alzheimer’s Disease – There are few experiences more tragic than to witness the loss of a loved one, into an irreversible loss of memory, and self.
- Drunkenness – Then again, there are other “clinical” instances which aren’t so permanent, innocent, or readily explained.
- More Than a Feeling – For some, it’s a matter of misunderstanding what love really is. Thinking that love is an emotion rather than a commitment, they interpret a loss of that sensation of being “in love” to mean that they no longer love the other person.
- Separation – For all the sentimental declarations that love endures, lasts forever, etc., the reality is that it does need nurturing. Being apart for any length of time means having to work that much harder at keeping love burning.
- Skewed Priorities – Life has a way of distracting us at times from those things that are really important. It may be time you left a slot open on your daily planner for love.
- Changed Perspectives – Here is a situation where one or both of you have grown apart in some ways, leading you to forget what it was that had drawn you together in the first place. The love may still be there, but it doesn’t come as easily as it once did.