Monday, April 30, 2012

10 Common Struggles Moms Have with Dads

A variety of stressors assault the average family on a constant basis. Even inventions geared to make our lives easier seem only to add to the problems in our homes. Some struggles can be avoided or eliminated with thoughtful planning; others are mountains that originated as molehills. Listed here are ten of the more common ones moms have with dads.

  1. Budgeting – Money woes seem to plague most families these days. Having a budget and sticking to it can be difficult, especially with prices always fluctuating. Sitting down and discussing the budget, and making a commitment to follow it, will go far in keeping this issue from becoming a monumental problem. Keep in mind that you both must allow for an unpredictable economy.
  2. Discipline – Some dads can be too strict while others can be too lenient. In many households, the father is still the disciplinarian. This means he may have the final say in matters of punishment, but parents need to have a united front. Again, having a conversation about the matter is the best way to keep issues from escalating.
  3. Housekeeping – Some men grew up in a home where Mom did all the housework. With both parents often working outside the home, that expectation can be a difficult one for a mom to deal with. Usually, it is just a matter of dividing up the duties to achieve a more equitable balance.
  4. Shopping – Many moms end up sneaking half the things they buy into the home. Dads sometimes have a difficult time understanding why certain purchases are necessary, like that pink pair of sandals that matches the new pink blouse. Of course, sometimes it’s Dad who is conveniently leaving the fishing rod he just bought out in the garage. He just doesn’t want to hear about how it’s the fourth pole he bought…this year!
  5. Seat up, seat down – The perennial war goes on concerning the toilet seat. Mothers all over the country are in agreement about the midnight trek to the bathroom that ends up in a rude, cold, and sometimes wet, awakening! Seat down guys.
  6. Putting gas in the car – Mothers prefer their own cars so they can make sure there is always gas in the tank. Way too often, when it’s Mom’s turn to use the car, the gas gauge indicates the tank is empty or near empty. One of the most annoying things in life is to need to get somewhere and find out that you must first stop and get gas.
  7. Chauffeuring – Moms seem to end up with chauffeuring duties most often. Sometimes Dad is available, but he just assumes Mom will do it. Even though she may not get terribly vocal about it, there are times when she could use a hand with hauling the kids around. Mom’s often would appreciate an offer from Dad to help out in this area.
  8. Church/worship service – Any given Sunday you can walk into the average house of worship and you will find that moms outnumber the dads. Many moms struggle with their husbands about attendance because they want to go as a family and not just part of a family. Fathers may not realize what a positive impact their presence and participation will have on their children.
  9. The in-laws – There are horror stories about the run-ins between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Many moms often feel that their husbands’ mothers are standing in judgment of everything they do; from cooking dinner to raising the children to decorating the home. Sometimes these problems can get out of hand and truly have an adverse effect on the entire family.
  10. Getting a job – In this day and age where downsizing, outsourcing, and businesses shutting their doors altogether create a daily impact on workers, families take the biggest hit. When Mom isn’t used to being the breadwinner of the family, it can lead to a lot of stress, especially when Dad has been out of work for a while. Working through this type of reversal of roles can be difficult for both Mom and Dad to adjust to.

Some struggles moms have with dads are avoidable through conversations and just checking in with each other. Voicing your needs and not waiting for Dad to figure them out himself will help alleviate some of the issues that come up. Other struggles may actually require professional help or support groups. The crucial thing is to remember to keep the channels of communication open.

Taken From Nanny Flower's Kids Blog

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